Blogs Are So 2008

And I am Two Thousand Late!

Between AIM, Twitter, Myspace, Facebook, Forums, Mobile Texting, Pictures, Podcasts, Youtube Videos, Mp3s, Downloading, Uploading, Torrents, Video Games, and watching content taped off of my DVR, how the hell am I supposed to also find time to Blog? Skyping is way out the picture now. I believe I'm suffering from sensory overload. There is not enough time to do everything I want to do. How is it possible with a full time job!?


My son is Starfy.

ConnectiCon is arriving very soon. This is one thing I very much look forward to. Video Games, DVD screenings, Manga, etc. How can I resist? This time around I won't be performing there, so I'll get to take advantage of gawking at overweight girls dressed in skimpy outfits, eating like a madman, and actually attending events without screaming, uncooperative kid. It'll be like taking a Klonopin, except with hallucinations!

I also invented a flying toilet. This is the prototype design.







Apparently roving gangs of Segue riders plague the bad streets of Boston. This I learned last month.






And even though it's 2009, and I'm 26 years old, Carousels are still just as uneventful as they ever were!

Anew Entry

I've been awful quiet these days in the Blog-o-sphere, and here's the main reason: I have nothing to say. Seriously, nothing.

Okay maybe now I have something to say.

Nope, still don't.

A few things to note down. Acer makes a crazy good and affordable Netbook and can be bought at Target for roughly $300.00. I've recently purchased one of these and am very impressed. It's seriously better than my desktop that my job forces me to deal with.

On vacation last week, we watched a Netflix movie streaming from a luxurious Knights Inn. I say "luxurious" because there was twice as much paneling than the normal motel, and we had a perfect view of a chicken coup outside of our window. I'm telling you, this is seriously the place to stay if you really don't like spending money, however enjoy a shower whose water pressure you could compare to a power washer. Needless to say that the layer of weather-proofing stain has now been completely removed from my body.

For Mother's Day, I bought Nina a puppy. We named the pug Hachi to show off how Otaku we both are. I'm just happy her hairs aren't making my allergies go nutty, and that if she's being really bad I could easily punt this thing a good 50-60 yards into the woods across the street. I'm not saying I'd ever write on here about doing that, because that would be cruel. No one needs to read that.

My wife looks beautiful in a bathing suit, but we knew that already. Recently we took a trip to Burr Pond, a beach where you get all the joys of a cool ocean breeze and yet none of the disgusting smell of rotting jellyfish, crayfish, and salt water from the polluted Long Island Sound. Seth enjoyed the hell out of walking up to complete stranger children and trying to play with them. He's going to grow up to be that creepy kid that comes around and invites himself to parties where no one actually wants him around.

Finally, how do you like them apples? I bought a fedora, and I wear it. I'm bringing the depression-era look back in a whole new way. Now, it's your duty to go out there and buy the hell out of these things so I don't look like the only jerk wearing mine in crowds. There's only so many toothless rednecks I can handle laughing at me and pointing, as if I'M the fuck-face!

It was fun however to find a box of coat-hangers in Ithaca labeled "FREE" and carry it through the market place. I told on-lookers that I'm handing out cheap and affordable abortions. (^_^)





For all sizes!!





And this is what I get for feeding my son Soy Milk. He's the one on the left, though I suppose in this picture it doesn't make a difference which one he is.

Our Fearless Leader

My new dog, Hachi.

Rant On Status Updates

Seriously, no one cares about the trivial little things that happen to you, especially when they aren't involved. Oh my, you saw a fucking squirrel in your backyard. Your baby just burped. Someone just drove their car through your living room. These are common things that happen everyday, to all of us.

There are always those archetypal people commenting back on updates too:

comedian: says some kind of pun, or (intentionally) misinterprets what you say for humor purposes. Problem is, he's the only one who actually thinks what he writes is funny.

advisor: they always give you free advice, especially when you don't want it

stalker: it's to be assumed it's always some pathetic guy who keeps trying to let you know that he wants to f*ck you over and over, but obviously never has a chance with you because you only want @sshole fucks that could care less about you. (oops, that's another rant entirely)

now I created a new one: The Honest One: they say exactly what's on everyone's mind.

off to bed
comment: where's that?
comment: make sure you keep warm!
comment: how about with me?
comment: seriously, who f*ckin cares?

waking up
comment: as opposed to waking down?
comment: stretch out too! That gets the blood moving!
comment: good morning sweety! ;)
comment: too bad, you should have ingested more arsenic.

I have a headache
comment: How much did you pay for it?
comment: you have to take this herbal remedy I heard about. It works, but I never tried it for myself.
comment: If I were there with you, I'd give you a nice massage.
comment: I hope your f*cking head explodes.

my tummy hurts
comment: hurts who? you? What a violent tummy!
comment: Try laying on your tummy for awhile.
comment: I would rub it and make it feel better.
comment: stfu you whiny, needy person who, in every situation where you're not feeling absolutely perfect you have to reach out and fish for people that will sympathize with you!

I just stubbed my toe
comment: Now why would you do that?
comment: Make sure to wrap it up lightly with tea bags if it's bleeding, so you don't get an ingrown toenail!
comment: want a kiss to make it better?
comment: If I see you I'm going to bite your f*cking toe off.

bored
comment: bored or board?
comment: go outside, it's a nice day! Get some sunshine.
comment: I'll come over and entertain you. ;)
comment: want me to come over? I have a new hunting knife I want to try out. I was told it's great at cutting through bones!

I Think It's a Relevant Find

My friend Jim compared to Matt Belknap from the Never Not Funny Podcast. Tell me, is that not strange? Both of them grew up in New England too!

You learn something new everyday!

It was more about the "do not drive or operate machinery" part that got me. I mean, this is tea we're talking about, not Nyquil!

Mysterious Hook Found In Suburban Backyard

What could it be?!