I think I'm reaching sensory overload this week. Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 3 arrived in the mail from Netflix, Nina got me the original Star Wars Trilogy Remastered for my upcoming birthday, and I have half a million things to watch on my DVR. To top it off, Dan, my partner in crime, has provided me with tons of new and bizarre Nintendo DS games to play. On top of that I also have 3 Cowboy Beebop Mangas from the library.
With all of this going on, go figure this is the weekend I actually have plans! At 12 we're hanging out with Nina's pops and eating like madmen. At 5 we record a new episode of the Fair Use Law Podcast. (the suspense is killing me) Sunday we drop Seth off at Grandma's place to stay the night while Nina and I go to some kind of Superbowl shindig, if only to spend the entire time eating, NOT watching the game, and playing multiplayer Nintendo DS games with his brothers. How nutty is that?
What I've learned on my first week of watching Dish Network:
-Most celebrities are just popular hobos with money and homes. Neither of them can stay sober for even a minute, especially when televised.
-Now that I can finally DVR Late Night with Conan O'Brien, he's getting cancelled.
-There's evidence of 100ft. waves in the ocean.
-I missed the Soup.
-Retarded men are the only reason relationships with retarded women don't work, and for some reason it's never the other way around?
-Hi, my name is Randy.
-I'm addicted to television.
City Cyan
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
All I Want To Do Is Have Some Fun
I have given in to the almighty dish. Come Monday, the Lewis Household will finally have more than 6 channels on television. How could I resist when the plan comes with 2 DVRS?
I've already done research and made a list of shows and movies that will be playing late Monday and on Tuesday on the free HBO and Cinemax channels. Some I heard might not be so great, and others are strictly for Seth, but heck with it.
-Jumper
-Blood Diamond
-Shoot Em Up
-An American Tail: Fieval Goes West
-Shrek the Third
-Land Before Time
-Land Before Time 2
-Balto
-Ghost Trackers
-Christmas Vacation (who doesn't love that?)
The DVR capacity is 350 hours, so I'll have a field day trying to fill that thing up. I smell an addiction brewing...
I've already done research and made a list of shows and movies that will be playing late Monday and on Tuesday on the free HBO and Cinemax channels. Some I heard might not be so great, and others are strictly for Seth, but heck with it.
-Jumper
-Blood Diamond
-Shoot Em Up
-An American Tail: Fieval Goes West
-Shrek the Third
-Land Before Time
-Land Before Time 2
-Balto
-Ghost Trackers
-Christmas Vacation (who doesn't love that?)
The DVR capacity is 350 hours, so I'll have a field day trying to fill that thing up. I smell an addiction brewing...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Chuckle
A Radiologist exists:
Richard Woodcock Jr.
That's not just redundant, that's redundantly redundant!
Richard Woodcock Jr.
That's not just redundant, that's redundantly redundant!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Trial and Error
So, I'm not sure anyone was aware of this but Dannon makes a coffee flavored yogurt. I'm the idiot who apparently has no common sense, and to demonstrate this I had to find out the hard way that, on Dannon's part, this thing is not at all a good idea. Of course I try this with mindset, "Well if it's on the shelf it can't be too bad. Dannon wouldn't put out a product that tastes like complete shit, right?" Picture this: sweet sugar, bitter coffee, and tart cultures. If you are too chicken to try this out, or you have enough brains to know that this is a waste of your time and money, you can easily simulate the flavor of this item that Dannon labels "yogurt."
Faux Dannon Yogurt: Coffee Flavor
(the actual "cup of coffee version", not the "yogurt version")
This 'delightful' treat simulates the rich flavor of a Dannon Coffee flavored Yogurt in a way you can enjoy during breakfast, lunch, dinner, or whenever you'd normally need a nice caffeine kick. Bottoms up!
Materials:
Coffee Maker
Ingredients:
Coffee grinds
Water
Cream/Milk (or alternatively soy milk or non dairy creamer)
Kool Aid mix (bonus points for an extra sour flavor)
Directions:
1) Make a cup of coffee. (self explanatory)
2) Add desired amount of cream and at least a spoonful of Kool Aid mix.
3) Stir
4) Knock this one back
Assuming you're not an idiot, you have not tried this out yet, nor will ever consider using this recipe as a prank on one of your your worst enemies.
The verdict:
Coffee has no business with acidophilus. In fact, I shouldn't even be writing the 2 words in the same sentence together.
Faux Dannon Yogurt: Coffee Flavor
(the actual "cup of coffee version", not the "yogurt version")
This 'delightful' treat simulates the rich flavor of a Dannon Coffee flavored Yogurt in a way you can enjoy during breakfast, lunch, dinner, or whenever you'd normally need a nice caffeine kick. Bottoms up!
Materials:
Coffee Maker
Ingredients:
Coffee grinds
Water
Cream/Milk (or alternatively soy milk or non dairy creamer)
Kool Aid mix (bonus points for an extra sour flavor)
Directions:
1) Make a cup of coffee. (self explanatory)
2) Add desired amount of cream and at least a spoonful of Kool Aid mix.
3) Stir
4) Knock this one back
Assuming you're not an idiot, you have not tried this out yet, nor will ever consider using this recipe as a prank on one of your your worst enemies.
The verdict:
Coffee has no business with acidophilus. In fact, I shouldn't even be writing the 2 words in the same sentence together.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Celebrate Good Times. C'mon!
We celebrated diversity on MLK day by spending money at a casino run by the Mohegan Tribe. That was the least we could do. It's easy, just copy and paste into my blog what my Twitter says and you already got a sentence or so.
This was the first time ever for Nina to gamble with slot machines. We bet and lost the entirety of a five dollar bill on the 1/2 cent slots within 30 minutes. She learned that all you're really doing with slot machines is putting money into a machine, press glowing buttons, watch spinning pictures stop randomly, and then leave.
The arcade was much more fun, because we're both apparently still 10 years old. We scowled at a mother and her kid as they tried to use a machine that we patiently waited to get on for 5 minutes. The nerve! Can't they see we're just adults trying to ride the virtual roller coaster!?
On the way out in the parking lot, apparently levels one, two, and three were filled to the brim, so there were people in cars everywhere driving around looking for spots. When they would spot us walking to our car, they wanted to stalk us. Not just stalk us, but roll down their windows and ask us in desperation where we're parked. One heavy-set elderly woman and her heavy-set elderly passenger yell something unintelligible at us, which seems like it was intended to be in the form of a question. Not being able to decipher this special language, we immediately reply with the word "Yeah!" I have no idea what I'm giving the "okay" for. There are a line of cars behind her, who are all not moving because she's not moving. She puts the car into reverse, not looking into the mirrors, not looking behind her, just starts going. Woman behind her looks and thinks to herself "Hey, is that woman going to stop? What the fuck is she doing?" As the car nears closer to the hood of her car, she then speaks the phrase aloud "Hey, is that woman going to stop?! What the fuck is she doing?!" A few seconds before impact, she decides the best move is to honk, since she's now deduced that this crazy lady is having a senior moment. Immediately the car halts, and I kid you not, the word come out of the elderly woman's mouth: "BITCH!!"
Really? Who's the bitch? I'm confused. No, I'm not being sarcastic, who's the bitch? Was she yelling at the woman behind her for occupying the space behind her in the crowded parking lot, as if that's not something that would normally happen? Or is it us, more specifically my wife, who a) happens to be a woman and b) said "yeah" to the question she must have asked us, "Hey, are these people behind me imaginary? And if so, it's probably safe to back up, is it not?"
Also:
Oral Surgery + Vicodin - Vicodin = Fun for no one.
This was the first time ever for Nina to gamble with slot machines. We bet and lost the entirety of a five dollar bill on the 1/2 cent slots within 30 minutes. She learned that all you're really doing with slot machines is putting money into a machine, press glowing buttons, watch spinning pictures stop randomly, and then leave.
The arcade was much more fun, because we're both apparently still 10 years old. We scowled at a mother and her kid as they tried to use a machine that we patiently waited to get on for 5 minutes. The nerve! Can't they see we're just adults trying to ride the virtual roller coaster!?
On the way out in the parking lot, apparently levels one, two, and three were filled to the brim, so there were people in cars everywhere driving around looking for spots. When they would spot us walking to our car, they wanted to stalk us. Not just stalk us, but roll down their windows and ask us in desperation where we're parked. One heavy-set elderly woman and her heavy-set elderly passenger yell something unintelligible at us, which seems like it was intended to be in the form of a question. Not being able to decipher this special language, we immediately reply with the word "Yeah!" I have no idea what I'm giving the "okay" for. There are a line of cars behind her, who are all not moving because she's not moving. She puts the car into reverse, not looking into the mirrors, not looking behind her, just starts going. Woman behind her looks and thinks to herself "Hey, is that woman going to stop? What the fuck is she doing?" As the car nears closer to the hood of her car, she then speaks the phrase aloud "Hey, is that woman going to stop?! What the fuck is she doing?!" A few seconds before impact, she decides the best move is to honk, since she's now deduced that this crazy lady is having a senior moment. Immediately the car halts, and I kid you not, the word come out of the elderly woman's mouth: "BITCH!!"
Really? Who's the bitch? I'm confused. No, I'm not being sarcastic, who's the bitch? Was she yelling at the woman behind her for occupying the space behind her in the crowded parking lot, as if that's not something that would normally happen? Or is it us, more specifically my wife, who a) happens to be a woman and b) said "yeah" to the question she must have asked us, "Hey, are these people behind me imaginary? And if so, it's probably safe to back up, is it not?"
Also:
Oral Surgery + Vicodin - Vicodin = Fun for no one.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I'd Love Me a Hearse
Nina just had her wisdom teeth removed and is pretty much out of it these days. It's all good though once the Vicodin kicks in. It works even better if instead she is the one taking them.
Something is brewing for The Light Source. Stay tuned for that, if you are one of the few people who still 'surf the web' on your TV instead of a computer like a normal human being. Only normal human beings own computers. TAKE THAT, underdeveloped third world nations! Wait, that was kind of cruel. What do I have against them?
Remember Altavista and Prodigy Internet?
No reason.
Seriously, no reason.
Something is brewing for The Light Source. Stay tuned for that, if you are one of the few people who still 'surf the web' on your TV instead of a computer like a normal human being. Only normal human beings own computers. TAKE THAT, underdeveloped third world nations! Wait, that was kind of cruel. What do I have against them?
Remember Altavista and Prodigy Internet?
No reason.
Seriously, no reason.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Give Thanks To Your Enemies
A sex offender wins a lottery set up to benefit the victims of sex offenders. It's like having dinner with the person who ran over your son. Well, I get it was appropriate in this situation, but still kind of awkward.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Joys of Posting Videos
How lazy can you get?
Well, if a picture is worth a thousand words, 25 frames a second, times 218 seconds, this is worth 5,450,000 words.
How many points then would I get in Scrabble?
Well, if a picture is worth a thousand words, 25 frames a second, times 218 seconds, this is worth 5,450,000 words.
How many points then would I get in Scrabble?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Suggestive Advertising
Slumdog Millionaire may be slipping below the radar, though I have to say it's one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.
Other than that, the snow is coming. How bored am I?
Other than that, the snow is coming. How bored am I?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Some Say Crisis, Others Say Opportunity
Okay, perhaps it's just bad all around. I'm trying to be optimistic for the new year! And we all know this attitude will last, tops, for another 10 minutes.
Don't read the news. Ignorance is bliss, it really is!
I have a bailout plan that would save this great nation of ours. I'm not going to bore you with the specifics, so I'll try my best to sum it up in one sentence: Lets all completely rob the 20 richest people on the planet, and split the booty equally.
Okay, I lied, let's get into it.
If we all were able to purchase and completely pay off a modest home to live in, our fears would mostly disappear. We'd even have money to spare to all go on crazy shopping sprees at our favorite department stores. (although I do not support Wal-Mart and prefer the Chinese slaves be cut lose, given a each a large mallet, and have a field day with the execs of the company)
I'm starting to sound way too much like a communist now, aren't I?
Our current laws protect these people because of our capitalist ideals. This is fine normally, even if people tend to be a bit greedy and needy for material possessions and overpriced sports tickets. Who am I to judge a person who wants a 24k gold personal massager? The problem is that 4% of people on average are clinically sociopaths and they are the ones with the pull. We need to identify these people and treat them as we do with all other people with mental problems: put them on reality shows.
They can each compete for a large sum of this new found wealth of ours, either by trying to lose 100 lbs. in 2 days, or by racing across the Atlantic using only unicycles as transportation. My feeling would be that the losers would all be incarcerated in sweatshops, forced to make the very products they forced the slaves to make for little to no pay, or we could take their American Citizen status's away, deport them to the Mexican Border, and have the Minute Men pick them off one by one as they try to jump the fences.
As for the winner, we give him the due earnings, however we ship them to a remote island where none of it is worth anything, and the only way off is to compete on that other reality show, which I can't quite remember the name of.
Ah yes, it was called I Love New York.
Who do you think should win?
Any other suggestions are welcome.
Don't read the news. Ignorance is bliss, it really is!
I have a bailout plan that would save this great nation of ours. I'm not going to bore you with the specifics, so I'll try my best to sum it up in one sentence: Lets all completely rob the 20 richest people on the planet, and split the booty equally.
Okay, I lied, let's get into it.
If we all were able to purchase and completely pay off a modest home to live in, our fears would mostly disappear. We'd even have money to spare to all go on crazy shopping sprees at our favorite department stores. (although I do not support Wal-Mart and prefer the Chinese slaves be cut lose, given a each a large mallet, and have a field day with the execs of the company)
I'm starting to sound way too much like a communist now, aren't I?
Our current laws protect these people because of our capitalist ideals. This is fine normally, even if people tend to be a bit greedy and needy for material possessions and overpriced sports tickets. Who am I to judge a person who wants a 24k gold personal massager? The problem is that 4% of people on average are clinically sociopaths and they are the ones with the pull. We need to identify these people and treat them as we do with all other people with mental problems: put them on reality shows.
They can each compete for a large sum of this new found wealth of ours, either by trying to lose 100 lbs. in 2 days, or by racing across the Atlantic using only unicycles as transportation. My feeling would be that the losers would all be incarcerated in sweatshops, forced to make the very products they forced the slaves to make for little to no pay, or we could take their American Citizen status's away, deport them to the Mexican Border, and have the Minute Men pick them off one by one as they try to jump the fences.
As for the winner, we give him the due earnings, however we ship them to a remote island where none of it is worth anything, and the only way off is to compete on that other reality show, which I can't quite remember the name of.
Ah yes, it was called I Love New York.
Who do you think should win?
Any other suggestions are welcome.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Post Holiday Sales For The New Year
Get used to my titles being misleading.
I've been spending time back and forth getting used to the controls of blogger.com and customizing the page up a bit. I even put my Google AdSense bar at the bottom so I can gain 37 cents by the end of the year. At this rate, in a thousand years I'll be rich! This is information no one cares about. Not even myself.
Day 4 of my new work at home status. Unfortunately it's also the second day Seth's had to be home with us while we work. He's bored as hell, and he makes sure we know it. Sometimes I wish I could just invent a car that was actually an oversize hair dryer, pointed directly at the roads, at least to make a path from the babysitter's house. I mean, we're really not getting our money's worth if he's there on average 4 days a week these days.
More boring personal info. My new year's resolution is to have less of that, moving forward.
Tomorrow is episode 6 of Fair Use Radio, so keep your ears open. Well, they should normally stay that way on their own, though I'd advise you to get something in them to insure this continues. I was thinking toothpicks.
I mean, it's not like they're my ears!
I've been spending time back and forth getting used to the controls of blogger.com and customizing the page up a bit. I even put my Google AdSense bar at the bottom so I can gain 37 cents by the end of the year. At this rate, in a thousand years I'll be rich! This is information no one cares about. Not even myself.
Day 4 of my new work at home status. Unfortunately it's also the second day Seth's had to be home with us while we work. He's bored as hell, and he makes sure we know it. Sometimes I wish I could just invent a car that was actually an oversize hair dryer, pointed directly at the roads, at least to make a path from the babysitter's house. I mean, we're really not getting our money's worth if he's there on average 4 days a week these days.
More boring personal info. My new year's resolution is to have less of that, moving forward.
Tomorrow is episode 6 of Fair Use Radio, so keep your ears open. Well, they should normally stay that way on their own, though I'd advise you to get something in them to insure this continues. I was thinking toothpicks.
I mean, it's not like they're my ears!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Hello World
Apparently a few years back I made a backup blog on Blogspot under ether667.blogspot.com. Trouble is, I have no idea how to log in to it because I don't know what email address I gave, nor password. I've not found a way to figure that out yet. If/when that happens, I'll gladly transfer this blog over there, but for right now (and possibly forever) it's ethersblog.blogspot.com/.
This new blog is a result of the catastrophic end of Journalspace, which warehoused my original blog. Unfortunate for me, all information was lost and nothing was backed up. (I'm an idiot) On the plus side, I now officially have a blog at the same place my two partners in crime do, along with the official place for the Fair Use Law Blog, which is a podcast that I produce and co-host.
Perhaps this is a good way to have a clean slate on things and be able to actually do some good in the world. By good, I mean waste my time as well as other unfortunate people who happened to stumble on my blog. Who am I kidding, those people are really just going to be me, over and over and over.
Or maybe it's YOU who are the unfortunate one!
This new blog is a result of the catastrophic end of Journalspace, which warehoused my original blog. Unfortunate for me, all information was lost and nothing was backed up. (I'm an idiot) On the plus side, I now officially have a blog at the same place my two partners in crime do, along with the official place for the Fair Use Law Blog, which is a podcast that I produce and co-host.
Perhaps this is a good way to have a clean slate on things and be able to actually do some good in the world. By good, I mean waste my time as well as other unfortunate people who happened to stumble on my blog. Who am I kidding, those people are really just going to be me, over and over and over.
Or maybe it's YOU who are the unfortunate one!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)