Okay, perhaps it's just bad all around. I'm trying to be optimistic for the new year! And we all know this attitude will last, tops, for another 10 minutes.
Don't read the news. Ignorance is bliss, it really is!
I have a bailout plan that would save this great nation of ours. I'm not going to bore you with the specifics, so I'll try my best to sum it up in one sentence: Lets all completely rob the 20 richest people on the planet, and split the booty equally.
Okay, I lied, let's get into it.
If we all were able to purchase and completely pay off a modest home to live in, our fears would mostly disappear. We'd even have money to spare to all go on crazy shopping sprees at our favorite department stores. (although I do not support Wal-Mart and prefer the Chinese slaves be cut lose, given a each a large mallet, and have a field day with the execs of the company)
I'm starting to sound way too much like a communist now, aren't I?
Our current laws protect these people because of our capitalist ideals. This is fine normally, even if people tend to be a bit greedy and needy for material possessions and overpriced sports tickets. Who am I to judge a person who wants a 24k gold personal massager? The problem is that 4% of people on average are clinically sociopaths and they are the ones with the pull. We need to identify these people and treat them as we do with all other people with mental problems: put them on reality shows.
They can each compete for a large sum of this new found wealth of ours, either by trying to lose 100 lbs. in 2 days, or by racing across the Atlantic using only unicycles as transportation. My feeling would be that the losers would all be incarcerated in sweatshops, forced to make the very products they forced the slaves to make for little to no pay, or we could take their American Citizen status's away, deport them to the Mexican Border, and have the Minute Men pick them off one by one as they try to jump the fences.
As for the winner, we give him the due earnings, however we ship them to a remote island where none of it is worth anything, and the only way off is to compete on that other reality show, which I can't quite remember the name of.
Ah yes, it was called I Love New York.
Who do you think should win?
Any other suggestions are welcome.
I think that if more people were to buy their own homes, we would start to pull out of this mess honestly. A lot of misguidance goes into thinking you save money by rending but truly, you don't at all.
ReplyDeleteI like your plan.
Then again, I'm sure you're a commie!